Birth of a Cosmic Master
PART 1 PART 2
The Antahkarana is the path, or bridge, between higher and lower mind, serving as a medium of communication between the two. It is built by the aspirant himself in mental matter. (Alice Bailey. Trieste on Cosmic Fire.) An autobiographical account of my journey into realization.
I was as a little child, crossing a ravine over a narrow bridge, into the awareness of who I am and why I came to earth.
Birth of a Cosmic Master
For My Children
Know that I love you
And when I leave this life my love will remain.
Know that you are children of love
and my spirit remains with you.
Eternal, unchanging, undying,
pure in it’s essence, strong at the source.
I come from the father that sent me and you.
Know who I am and my message.
Desire not earthly signs but be strong
in the knowledge of my love.
I love you all and remain in your hearts.
Look for me there.
As I had just finished writing this poem above lying on the bed in my bedroom I felt a great sense of love and emotion welling up in me and the thought came to my mind that I may be parted from my children, I was in the process of divorce and awakening. As I lifted my head to look up towards the window in my room, the lit electric light bulb flew out of the light socket in the ceiling startling me.
Poem of love
I am in all time and all places.
The heart of hearts
Most beloved.
I am there as angel to minister to you,
To guide and guard you.
I am there as essence of your heart.
One and the same,
We are of God
Crafted into humanity for a moment
But we are there for all time.
We are the vastness of the universe
The sun, the stars, the moon.
We are in all things and all places.
Pervading our consciousness into all that is.
A single spark that lit the eternal flame of brilliance.
We are one essence
The divine.
I had the sense that this writing was not only for my children but all children
everywhere
Children of my heart
There are many aspects of me.
Children of my heart, if not of my loins.
I am blessed by your presence and you courage
to be present in these turbulent times.
You blessed children of change.
My Beloved Child. 4.10.1990
I had been given a set of encyclopaedias by a friend to look at and one of them was open on my bed. A. who was about five years old came into my room and looked at the book. “That’s a baby inside a tummy, isn’t it mum.” He said.” I was inside your tummy” he said sitting down on the floor curling into a foetal position “Then I was turned upside down, I didn’t like that it hurt my head and my throat and I could hear your voice and the voices of the other children outside.” One night when you were asleep in bed mum, I came out of your tummy and had a look around. I wanted to see the other children, and then I went back.
” Where were you before you were in my tummy A?” I asked him.
“I was in heaven” he replied.
“Why did you come?” I asked.
“They said to me, did I want to come down and have another life or did I want to stay in heaven”.
“So why did you come” I asked him gently.
“I chose to come to you… I had to wait because we were in carriages, the children, the ones in the front carriages, come first, down big steps, down, down”.
“Who were you in heaven A?”
”I was a big man, old man. I had lived in America and had a wife called Henrietta, she had lots of clothes - a big chest of drawers and a green Coat. Henrietta died before me. I’ve been in Africa and other countries”
“Did you see me A?” I asked, “You were a sheep’s person”.
“Do you mean a Shepard” I asked, ”a person who looks after sheep”
“Yes, were in the carriages before me” and he made the downward movement he had made before to explain the carriages. While he was telling his story about Henrietta I could see a shaker design wooden chest with one drawer partly open and some cloth hanging out. A started to get upset and when I asked him why he said he wanted to know what had happened to Henrietta. “Why don’t you have a look” I said gently to him. He paused for a moment or two. “D was Henrietta.”
“Oh, was he?” I said feeling rather surprised.
“Yes” he replied. “S and A were together, S was a man, A a woman. This is the last life Mum. I’m not coming back again.”
"Where will you go”, I asked.
“Back to heaven I expect.”
“Will you go somewhere else?” I said not quite thinking straight, “I
don’t know, mum.”
Royalty of earthliness
I see God and his angels upholding me.
Preparing me in Robes
As I wait to descend into form.
Waiting to come here to you.
I put down the orb and the sceptre
A simple bunch of Lilies
I will hold in my arm.
My Royalty of earthliness.
I had always assumed as a child that when I died I would blend back into God. George was dying and we were visiting him regularly. “Silly old George” his wife said “he’s seeing things like silver cords and people in the corner of the room waiting for him”. Somehow I believed they were there. While everyone was discussing his condition in the kitchen, I stayed with him and I put out my hands over his lungs with a thought to ease his pain. What I did was instinctive. George smiled and squeezed my hand gently.
Back at home a feeling came over me of the uttermost peace, such as I have never felt before. “I’ve died Averill, it’s wonderful, and the pain has gone. Tell everyone I’m alright” came the thought to accompany the feeling. The reverie subsided just as the phone rang. “Averill, George’s is dead” my husband said, “Yes I know and he said to tell everyone he is OK” came my reply.
I could hear George talking to me in my mind for two weeks afterwards and
smell his cigarette smoke at times then he was gone. That was the start
of a journey. “You
will heal even as Jesus healed” I was told.
Healing
Healing comes from love.
Healing involves looking.
Healing involves finding.
Healing involves retrieving
And looking intensely into the brilliance of your own soul,
And seeing the beauty beyond truth.
I had five babies at this time and a marriage which was rocky. I had tried to be as supportive to my husband as I could. He was amazed when I bought him a watch for his birthday saying “I thought you didn’t care” Of course I care, you don’t just stop loving somebody.
After George’s death it seemed as if we were on a learning rollercoaster. My daughter, who was very intuitive and empathic, and much older in her understanding than her young years, was now seeing spirit forms. My son who loved the Hiawatha story said “who is that Indian who listens to the story with us every night”. I couldn’t see anyone.
I did experience changes in the atmosphere around me, and patches of pink
magenta and gold in the sky which I later learned were called Stralim. Subtle
colors and spheres of light would present themselves to me. I was aware that
they were consciousnesses who were communicating with me. In the evening after
a tiring day minding five children I would sit quietly in the lounge which
was becoming my sanctuary.
Teaching 1990
Troubled times
How can we fail in our search for the truth?
Perfection is a hard goal and we stress ourselves
with unobtainable and exacting demands.
We are not perfect.
But loving accepting beings who try.
Show me a man who has all the noble qualities
And I'll show you many more who became inaccessible
through trying.
Let life flow,
Know and be yourself, this is important for you.
You will learn much more if you follow
your instinct guided by your heart.
The wise heart knows much, sees much, and says little.
Do not criticize your neighbour, should you be criticized.
Do not show displays of knowledge, should your vanity rise.
Heed the quiet voice within, the one that says see here or look there.
The wise man can learn from the fool.
Thou shalt and shalt not is an outdated mode.
You have enough conscience to see for yourselves.
There is no more need for conflict over the rules
if every man acknowledges their own personal truth
And can live with the knowledge that everyman is
entitled to this.
Stand side by side with your fellow man.
Neither to the front or the rear
Above or below.
We are equal, we all matter.
Choose the simple path and a wise philosophy.
During my moments of quietude during those evenings as I relaxed with the
energies and felt the fabric of them, my mind was impressed with various thoughts.
I had not read books or attended any new age events or development groups which
influenced these thoughts. I had in my earlier days attended church, but felt
I could no longer go several years earlier. Indeed the breaking away from what
I was expected to believe was a fearful process. It is only when my deep self
emerged, that the fear or “de-programming reaction” subsided. These
impressions, awakenings, or other awareness seemed very natural to me, I felt
excited and then full of self doubt. I was told and shown many things including
my last embodiment which had been in the Angelic realm. I came into this life
directly from that kingdom. My mission, I was to be the spokesperson for the
Ascended Masters.
To walk mans walk
I have to walk with man,
Yet I would walk with the Angels.
I have to talk with man,
His talk eliminates the voice I would hear.
It’s so different this dream world called earth,
I wish I could wake and find myself home.
At peace.
To rest in myself to be who I am.
The strain of this place,
The stress of this place, my head it aches
with all its noise,
with the disconnectedness of it all.
And I deny myself to be part of it,
Not adhering to my nature.
And in the odd moment I remember who I am.
My headache goes,
I am home,
I am with love.
When I first started to get au fait with my abilities I wanted to go out and
join in with others, find out what was out there, but the Masters told me to
keep back. I did go to a couple of groups but something happened each time
and I couldn’t continue.
Advice
Seek only that which is within.
Do not follow blindly any doctrine or
information of combined influences.
Seek where the heart lies.
Breathe life into still waters - Let flow.
Free yourself from attachments
negative influences
and karmic situations.
Draw peace and understanding to you
Follow your own guidance. Wise
decisions have to be made.
I am ever present in that which
is seen and unseen.
My presence is felt eternally
The above writings were written in 1990, and are excerpts from my book to be published called “Birth of a Cosmic Master” which is an autobiographical account of my soul manifesting itself. It educates my personality into full realisation of who I am, and teaches me about learning to use gifts and abilities I have. It is about realities I perceived about the cosmos whilst leading an ordinary life. It is about life.
The second excerpt in Part Two is taken from the same book.